If you’ve had a conversation about the latest Snow White movie, chances are it’s sounded similar to this:

“Have you seen the trailer for Snow White and the Huntsman?”

“Yes! We have to see it. What do you think about Kristen Stewart?”

“I can’t believe they cast her. Isn’t she supposed to be the fairest of them all?”

I have heard the above comment so much, it seems scripted. Earlier this month, an Allure blogger even joined the commentary, saying that Kristen and her character were beautiful on the inside, but not so much on the outside.  And I have to say, it disheartens me.

Kristen Stewart, for all of her awkward sulking and uncomfortable smirks, is not ugly. She’s not even average. What is ugly is when girls cut down another young woman because she doesn’t fit into the traditional definition of beauty. No, she doesn’t have big boobs or pouty lips. She isn’t blonde and rarely wears heels. She doesn’t have a thick booty or California tan. But since when did anyone fit all these categories without help, surgical or otherwise? And since when is appearance the only thing that matters about a girl? Oh right: since forever.

The problem with this rudimentary judgement–other than its unfairness–is that when we judge one girl for not being ‘pretty enough,’ we are perpetuating the idea that a woman’s primary value lies on the outside. Yes, this is the reality of our society: Women are supposed to be attractive. But it is burdensome and shallow. By default, we are subjecting ourselves to the same standards. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be judged against someone who has the money to buy boobs, liposuction and a beauty team.

In fact, I think we should applaud Kristen for not using her money to look like everyone else. I’m not opposed to plastic surgery at all, but she clearly has no interest in Scarlett’s chest or Angelina’s lips. And that is that mark of a real and independent woman–exactly the kind of person I would want to play a sword-wielding, castle-storming, witch-fighting princess.

To be sure, I’m not saying we should all stop wearing makeup and heels. I love makeup and I love getting dressed up: They’re the fun parts of being a girl. But someone who does not like these things shouldn’t be be told she’s not pretty just because she prefers to step out in a bare face and Converse.

So please, stop hating on other girls. Stop tearing them apart. Stop treating them like show ponies. Stop considering their curves before their character. And stop doing these things to yourself.