The Fashion of Growing Up

Recently, my mom sent me a photo in which I couldn’t have been more than six years old. What struck me most about the picture was not how little I used to be (or how cute I was), but rather what I was wearing. 

The outfit my mom had picked out for me that day consisted of a pink top with white, blue, yellow and red flowers patterned across it, white linen pants and pale yellow sneakers. The best accessory I am wearing in the photo, though, is my smile. I am practically beaming with happiness and joy and my eyes are crinkled at the sides, which is how I could tell my smile in the picture was authentic. I looked so carefree, so full of life. 

The photo, if anything, made me a bit sad. I couldn’t remember the last time I had worn a pink article of clothing; I wasn’t even sure if I owned one anymore. The picture served as a reminder of how much of myself I have changed or stifled as I have grown up and how that is perhaps most reflected in my clothing choices.

But I wondered if it has to be this way. Does the fashion of growing up have to be a story of sacrifice and homogenization?  

Childhood

The fashion of early childhood is primarily characterized by vibrant colors and funky patterns that reflect the maximalist approach taken by most parents and children during this time. Dressing at this age is not so much about creating a cohesive look as it is about simply wearing what is most practical or most appealing. Childhood is a time of carefree play, and as such, children’s clothes usually reflect this. Staples include versatile sneakers, comfortable pants or jeans and t-shirts and hoodies. 

However, children are also beginning to explore their identity and express themselves to the world during this period. Clothing is perhaps the first outlet where children are given creative and personal freedom over how they present themselves; it is a vessel by which they start to define themselves and identify their preferences. 

In my life, this sense of freedom manifested in my choice to exclusively wear black ballet flats to school. To me, the typical sneakers worn by most of my peers were too harsh and chunky, whereas a ballet flat was a more feminine, sleek choice. Ballet flats, though, were not the most conducive to outside playing time in elementary school, which resulted in me having to bring a pair of sneakers to change into before and after every recess and P.E. session. 

What strikes me most about this particular fashion choice of mine was how unapologetic and dedicated I was to expressing myself. It did not matter that sneakers were much more practical than ballet flats or that they were also much more typical for an elementary schooler to wear. All that mattered was that I liked ballet flats — my preference alone was reason enough for me to wear them to school every day, regardless of anyone else’s thoughts. 

Adolescence 

Adolescence is a confusing time for everyone. Besides going through physical and hormonal changes, the teenage years bring with them a newfound sense of freedom, identity and anxiety. As such, adolescence marks the ultimate time for exploration in one’s fashion choices. This period is when most begin to refine their individual sense of style and cultivate their wardrobe in much more intentional, cohesive ways. However, this phase often brings a dual challenge: the allure of conforming to trends and peer expectations, along with the desire to express individuality.

In an effort to fit in amongst their peers, most teenagers will gravitate towards current fashion trends. In today’s age, teenage fashion staples include looser-fitting jeans, sneakers like Nike Dunks or Adidas Sambas and hoodies or graphic t-shirts. 

Fashion exploration involves making bold choices, which won’t always turn out the way we envision them. Part of exploring your sense of style is making mistakes; it’s about seeing what pieces stick and deciding which ones to discard. Although adolescence is the optimal time for this sort of self-exploration, most teenagers end up sticking with what is comfortable and familiar to them and this is reflected in their clothing choices.  

This was very much the case during my time in secondary school. Middle school was the first time I became aware of other people’s judgments and expectations of me. It was the first time I realized the concept of being “cool” not only existed but was something I should care deeply about. I had barely any idea of who I was, so instead of trying to dress for a vague perception of myself, I emulated those around me. I drew fashion inspiration from my friends, other girls at my school, my favorite TV show characters and even YouTubers and internet personalities I followed. 

Although some people might view my tendency to mirror those around me as a disservice to my fashion journey, I see it as the very thing that enabled me to find my own sense of style. Mimicry is a fundamental part of the human experience. We are all murals of every person we have encountered, every song we’ve listened to or book we’ve read, every place we have visited and every piece of media we have consumed. We form our identities by taking bits and pieces from our environments and fitting them together in an entirely unique way.  

Fashion is no different. Imitation, in my opinion, is one of the most fundamental practices in fashion. By identifying what we like and dislike from our surroundings, we are able to curate a fashion sense that is singular to us but simultaneously shared by many. It is both collective and exclusive and somewhere between these two opposing ends is where each one of us discovers our sense of style. 

Adulthood 

The fashion of adulthood is most often associated with neutral shades, toned-down looks and more professional attire. Staple pieces include blazers, button-up shirts, well-fitted jeans and knit sweaters. This stage of life is when we are expected to shed the rebelliousness of college and assume the responsibilities that come with adulthood: taxes, rent, advancing our careers and maybe even focusing on settling down. As such, our clothing is expected to mature with us. 

While this often translates to more plain and dull attire, this does not have to be the case. Adulthood fashion should not be seen as a departure from the bold, funky clothing of childhood or the experimental imitation of adolescence. 

Rather, fashion as a young adult should be centered on reintegrating these past iterations of ourselves into a more mature, elevated form. Style does not mature in a straight line — it loops, revisits and reinterprets past selves. From this perspective, dressing becomes a continual act of becoming: a conversation between who we were, who we are and who we imagine ourselves to be.  

Looking Towards The Future

The other day, I purchased a pair of ballet flats for the first time in years. They were a simple design: shiny leather, with a small block heel and a bow near the top of the shoe. But unlike my elementary school flats, I opted for a deep burgundy color this time, which I have grown particularly fond of over the years. These are now my favorite pair of shoes I own. 

My burgundy ballet flats not only represent every past version of myself I have ever been, but they also give me hope for all the versions of myself I have yet to be. They are proof that the fashion of growing up is less about leaving past identities behind and more about integrating them into the present.